Tattoo For You

A couple of weeks ago Becky, Lauren and I got tattoos in Jace’s memory. This is something we knew we would do right away, back in Sept. I think Becky knew immediately what she was getting. Of all the inside jokes, pet names, silly texts they had together they were always each other’s ‘Sunflower’. Jace and Becky had talked about getting best friend tats before. Jace really wanted to get something special since Becky was the one and only truest and loyal friend she had, the one who wanted the best for him, cheered him on and there with a shoulder to cry on when he was down. Although Jace had many friends and many who loved and cared for him, Becky was the one that was there.
Lauren and I thought about getting matching tats. A few years back…Lauren and I got tattooed with Jace to support him through recovery. Since me and Lauren already have matching ones we thought about adding one to those. We had so many different ideas that it was hard to decide. We each plan on getting our own, personal more meaningful tattoo at some point too. Right before our appointment Lauren drew up a sketch of a praying mantis and knew that was the one. Of course there’s a story for her decision. About a week or two before Jace passed, he and Lauren were sitting on our front step one night and saw a praying mantis. They were joking around about it being illegal to kill them…ect. Anyway, Jace told Lauren he would come back as a praying mantis if he dies and bother her because she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Ironically, Lauren and her sisters saw that praying mantis the night Jace passed and every night after for about 2 weeks or so.
I decided on something simple and meaningful…something that people wouldn’t ask too many questions since it’s clearly in memory of a loved one. Although I’ll still get something else and one that is most meaningful, I clearly wasn’t ready for them yet. When I met with our tattoo girl, I cried just trying to explain my other ideas so much. This idea just seemed to sit better with me…I can’t explain it really. Since Jace was transgender I decided on the lighter pink and blue that represents the Trans Community. Yellow was his favorite color so I wanted the halo to be as bright a yellow she could do. I only wanted his name…no dates. I don’t need to be reminded with those dates anymore than I already am.
I’m really glad the three of us did this together. I wish I could see Jace and his reaction….not just with the tats but, how Becky has become an add on to our family. I feel like I can feel him smiling so big and hear his “Awwwee, Mother”….the way he would when he’d be ‘tickled pink’…as he would say. There’s no way he would’ve known just how missed, how loved, how special he truly was.
💛🏳️‍⚧️💛 Jace…missing you doesn’t come close to describing what we feel.